


Spark

by seki



Category: Persona 4
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 13:53:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1268800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seki/pseuds/seki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yu's a little slow to catch onto what Yosuke's been trying to determine. But then, Yosuke's methods aren't the most straightforward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spark

You and Yosuke fall into a regular rhythm of friendship; you go to his house and play videogames, or you go to the riverbank together and talk idly, or he comes to your house and you watch movies.

Once, when Dojima and Nanako are out, Yosuke brings porn to your house, and you watch that together. It's pretty standard porn, bored housewives and delivery guys. You always thought the point of porn was to get off to it, alone in your room. Watching it with someone else, trying to feign detachment; that's an entirely different experience. Yosuke speculates aloud while you watch, wondering if the girls you know would ever do things like _that_ , and what it must feel like, and if any of this stuff is even realistic. 

He excuses himself about halfway through the movie and spends a suspiciously long time in your bathroom. You try doing the same thing, a little later, but you can't really relax so you give up and determinedly ignore your erection until Yosuke goes home.

He brings over porn on a couple of other occasions; it's not quite a habit, but it's a harmless way to waste an evening sometimes. Yosuke tends to make lots of jokes and comments as you watch, which is probably just out of embarrassment, but his jokes are mostly funny enough for it to be entertaining rather than irritating. There's a weird side-effect, in that you start finding it hard not to remember Yosuke making jokes when you're, uh, relieving the built-up tension later on. But that's really only a minor inconvenience.

In the summer, he brings over an idol DVD of Risette's. It's a sudden sharp education for you in quite how suggestive those things are. It's kind of uncomfortable -- she's your friend, even if that's sort of new and tentative, and it feels really creepy -- but you watch her rolling around in a field of long grass and sucking on lollipops and gyrating to music. Both of you pretend to be more amused and disinterested than aroused. Maybe it's not a lie for Yosuke, even, you can't tell. But after Yosuke goes home, you give in and jerk off to the memory of Rise writhing around. All you can hear over the top of your mental video is the memory of Yosuke talking about how it must feel, his voice saturated with interest and desire, and the combination is so alarmingly good that you have trouble looking either of them in the eye for the next few days.

The next time Yosuke brings over porn, it has two girls in it. They look a bit like Chie and Yukiko, if you squint. Yosuke excuses himself after about twenty minutes and spends so long in the bathroom that you become mildly concerned. You peek out into the hall and see that the bathroom door is slightly ajar.

It feels like an invitation.

You creep closer to that sliver of light, unable to help yourself, then you hear Yosuke grunt.

" _...nnh, no, fuck…_ " 

Suddenly it hits you. You _know_ what he's doing in there. You shouldn't _eavesdrop_ on him jerking off. You retreat hastily back into your room, sit on the sofa, and bury your head in your hands for a moment, trying to make your heart stop racing. Yosuke must just have been too keyed up to remember to close the door behind him. That's all.

When he returns and slumps back onto the sofa next to you -- leaning against you, even -- you can't look directly at him. He doesn't seem to notice how awkward you're feeling though, and you resume watching the DVD where you left off. The girls onscreen kiss each other, and grope each other enthusiastically, and it's good but really you just want Yosuke to leave so you can... what? Jerk off to the memory of Yosuke's groan, overlaying the idea of Chie and Yukiko together? You don't even know right now.

In the end, Yosuke leaves before Nanako gets home from her friends' house, and you're too confused and ashamed of yourself to even try jerking off. You wake up to a predictably sticky set of sheets in the middle of the night, and thankfully you can't remember what you were dreaming about. You change them as quietly as you can, in the dark, and choke down any inconvenient thoughts on the matter.

You can't handle talking to Yosuke, not really, not for a couple of days. You keep remembering that sliver of light, that fragment of sound, and you avoid him as best you can until the discomfort recedes enough for you to ignore it.

He invites you to hang out on the riverbank, a week later, just to be outside while you study. It's warm, and sunny, and the light filters through the trees above and dapples you both with greenish shadows. Yosuke slips his headphones over your ears after a while and tells you you have to hear this one track properly. It's some generic rock ballad, with mushy love-song-ish lyrics. It's okay, but not amazing, and you tell Yosuke as much when it finishes. He takes his headphones back slowly, but doesn't put them on. He stares at them, instead.

His voice sounds a bit strained when he says, "I keep meaning to ask you, you know. Why aren't you dating Rise?"

You don't know how to answer that.

"I mean, _dude_ , she's super hot. You saw that video, you'd be mad not to want that. And she wants you _bad_."

You're not really sure that's true. Oh, she flirts a lot, and she'd probably date you if you asked her out, but you think she's only as interested as she is because you've never once made any sort of move. Disinterest is magnetic for some people.

"And what about Yukiko? She'd jump at the chance, seriously, and so would Chie. Or there's that girl from your drama club. Hell, any girl in school'd probably at least think about it if you asked. You don't want any of them?"

You flush, embarrassed. It's not like you're not into them _physically_. You've certainly fantasised about most of the girls you know, honestly, in the privacy of your room and with varying levels of guilt. You just... don't want to date any of them. You're leaving Inaba soon, after all, and it's going to be hard enough without adding long-distance-girlfriend drama to the mix.

Or at least that's what you tell Yosuke. Inside your own head, though, you admit that part of it is that you can't really picture them as more than just short-term flings. You guess it would be nice to have a girlfriend even if you're not head-over-heels in love; what's more, you can see almost exactly what to say and do to spin the friendships you have with your female friends into something more romantic. But that's just it; it'd be something you'd done deliberately, and you want something to just spark, to just _happen_ , unforced and uncalculated. It's what happens in movies, in books; why shouldn't you hold out for it?

Yosuke nods when you talk about leaving Inaba, still not looking at you. "Okay, I can buy that, I suppose. But, uh..."

He glances at you, then stares at his headphones again.

"I dunno, I just figured there was... ah, maybe it's just me. C'mon, let's go get something to eat."

You go to Aiya, and you talk a little about your homework assignments. Yosuke _watches_ you a little more thoughtfully than he used to after that day, especially when you talk to the girls. And you can't tell what it is he's looking for. It's another week and a half until you invite him over again. Nanako is staying over at a friend's house, and Dojima might or might not come home depending on his workload. 

"Want me to stay over?" he asks.

You feel like a complete interloper when you're the only person there. You'd be grateful for the company, you think.

Upstairs, Yosuke stares out of your window for a while. It's not raining, at least. You're not sure you could cope with the Midnight Channel tonight.

"Partner," says Yosuke, quietly, "you'd tell me, right?"

You ask what he's talking about. He turns, and gives you a meaningful look, and you still have no idea.

"I mean, if there was something I should be noticing?"

Now you're really lost.

Yosuke snorts at whatever confused expression must have crossed your face, and crosses to slump on your sofa next to you. "Never mind. Hey, this time, how about you pick something to watch?"

You hesitate. You have a couple of porn movies, hidden in nondescript CD cases behind the books in your shelf. You bit down your embarrassment and bought them in a tiny backstreet in Okina, a fortnight ago, and you've been hanging onto them since, vaguely thinking you should wait and share them. It's practically a tradition, at this point, to watch new porn together. You dig them out and give them to Yosuke.

"Whoa. You actually own this sort of thing?"

You offer to go get something more PG from downstairs, if Yosuke'd prefer that.

"Are you kidding me?"

He picks one at random, and you start it up. It pretends to have a plot; there are costumes and samurais and peasant girls. Yosuke shoots you an amused look.

"Is this the stuff you're into, then?"

You elbow him, and he chuckles, and you watch the predictably dreadful acting for a few minutes before a pretext is found for the lead actors to start groping and pulling each other's clothes off.

It's pretty unconvincing, as porn goes; the girl is very pretty but she looks really, really bored. It's a lot less fun watching this sort of thing without Yosuke's jokes and observations, and he's being unusually quiet. After a while you realise that Yosuke isn't even looking at the screen. He's watching you instead, though he's pretending not to. It's unnerving. You hit pause and ask if he's okay, though really you just want to ask why he's staring at you.

"Sorry," he says, and he's actually looking sort of _through_ you. "I guess I... can we talk?"

Maybe now he'll tell you what the hell he was edging around asking you earlier. He turns in his seat, takes a breath, and looks you directly in the eyes.

And he leans forward, presses his lips to yours, and then he pulls back almost immediately as if scalded.

You're too startled to do more than blink in surprise for a moment. He stares at you, looking terrified. You nearly joke that this isn't how most people define 'talking', but from the way Yosuke is swallowing nervously, you don't think that would help. Instead, you consider your options, and your many many questions, and then ditch them all in favour of just kissing him in return.

The kiss lasts for only a few seconds, your mouths moving against each other hesitantly. Yosuke pulls away abruptly and stares at his hands again.

"Shit. I kind of didn't think you actually... um."

He looks like he's about to say something else, but then he shakes his head firmly. He grabs your collar and pulls you towards him for another kiss, and this kiss is the one that makes everything come into focus; his tongue brushes against your lips and it's like your brain fogs up with arousal and you open your mouth willingly, hungrily into the kiss.

Some time later -- seconds, minutes, an eternity of slow, intense sweetness -- a door slams downstairs, and you break apart again, this time in guilty surprise.

"Oh, crap," says Yosuke, his eyes wide, and he scrambles for the computer. It takes you a second to catch on; the porn is still onscreen, freeze-framed on the bored actress, her mouth open in an oval that could be either a gasp or a yawn. It's not like Dojima is going to walk in right this second -- and you don't think he'd be too horrified if he did, since Nanako's not at home -- but still, you'd rather not be caught watching it.

You lean out of the door while Yosuke scrambles the CD back into its case and the cases back into the bookshelf. Dojima comes to the foot of the stairs and asks if you've eaten, and -- after Yosuke pokes his head out of the door too -- if Hanamura's staying over, and grumbles a little about work. Dojima tells 'you kids' not to stay up too late, and says he'll be busy for a while doing some paperwork if you need him. You hear the TV click on; the news channel, predictably.

Back in your room, door firmly closed behind you, you and Yosuke stare at each other for a moment before you take a step forward and half-fall into another kiss; Yosuke clutches at you fiercely and he lets out little groans and gasps as you kiss, as if he's too distracted to concentrate on simple things like actually breathing properly. Somehow you manage to push him backwards and _down_ onto your couch without having to actually stop kissing him; straddling him is easiest, so you do. His hands slide under your jacket, and then he tugs the hem of your shirt upwards, his knuckles brushing your stomach, and that's when you pull back, patting his hands away gently. You can't get too carried away, not right now.

"Ah," he says, his eyes dark and _yearning_. "...sorry, too fast, too far, shit."

It's not that you're not… keen, you explain. But Dojima is downstairs.

"Nn," Yosuke mutters, and he leans forward, so your foreheads rest against each other. His hands clutch at your shirt. "You're right."

You sigh, and wrap your arms around him. Your heart is hammering in your chest, and he's breathing very heavily, but somehow this feels _peaceful_ all the same. It's not fireworks; it's more like hearing a piece of distant music suddenly snap into clarity.

"I've wanted to kiss you for a while," Yosuke says, eventually. He leans back, so he can actually look at you, and smiles. "Since early summer, maybe?"

You bite your lip, and admit that you hadn't let yourself really think about this until, well, until Yosuke kissed you.

"But… but it's okay?"

Definitely.

He looks away, blushing. "You know, I... thought you were gay? But you, I mean, no?"

Not really; you stammer a little over the words, recalling all those moments of Yosuke's _voice_ creeping into fantasies, but you really hadn't _actively_ thought about boys. It's clear that you like _Yosuke_ , but you've no idea if that's because he's a guy.

"Shit. I thought that's why you weren't, you know, dating anyone."

You shake your head, and then tighten your arms around him. You _are_ dating someone now, you say, tentatively. He manages to flush even darker, and then he kisses you again, and you hope that's a yes.

You and Yosuke fall into a regular rhythm of boyfriend-ship, around the edges of everything else that happens from that point on. You go to his house and play videogames, or you go to the riverbank together and talk idly, or he comes to your house and you watch movies. You kiss, and you touch, and you value each moment you have alone together. Those mushy love songs start to sound sweeter, start to make sense to you. It's unforced, and uncalculated.

It's going to hurt when you leave, but you think that -- on the whole -- it's _totally_ worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Yosuke's side of this story is probably a lot more direct, I have to say. Oblivious!Yu is fun to write, though.


End file.
